Have you ever noticed that, in the fairy tale world, mothers are non-existent? They're dead,and step-mothers are assholes. I was looking for some strength in the land of make-believe, and I was looking for something to read to my 6 month old daughter. Something that would soothe her, and comfort me.
Sounds like we need the same thing - maybe we should just go back to bed.
No. Today is a day for progress. Today is a day that I grow some balls (figuratively speaking), and make changes.
I don't like it. I'm unhappy. I know it. Life feels like it's hard, but I know that it's not that bad. I know that there are people who would be grateful for what I have.
This sucks.
My boyfriend told me the other day that he's pretty certain that I have post-partum depression. How do you respond to that when the only answer is, "it's not hormones. It's you. You make me unhappy." I can't stay. I can't.
And I can go. I have places to go. I don't think he'd try to stop me at all. I just feel guilty. Somehow, I think I should come last. I can't. I can't come last.
I went looking for fairy tales, or folk tales about the strength that mothers have because I needed a push. Finding a void there was that push. There may be children throughout history who have heard tales of missing mothers and asshole step-parents. My children will live a different life.
It may not be a fairy tale, but it doesn't seem like those fairy tales are so awesome anyways.
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