Finding the way.

I'm not sure how to say what I need to say right now.

I'm not sure how to explain to my family, to my children, that my relationship with Sev is not necessarily over. We certainly can't live together - not today. Maybe not ever. But I'm not sure that we need to abandon all hope.

Time will tell, I suppose.

I've dated men. I've married. I've left men.

Never have I felt so terribly bad about a choice. Right now, I don't know how to tell people that it may not be over. That some day, maybe, hopefully, it will work.

I'm still very hurt. And especially nervous for my kids. They will always come first, and I would hate to go through all of this pain, effort, and heartache to disappoint them again.

I am so scared.